Monday, June 22, 2015

Men Cry. Women Cuss

I have been morbidly afraid of posting this here. Particularly because it talks about something most people in this Motherland are uncomfortable talking about.  Many of you would witness that when we were growing up, our parents hated having "the talk". In my house, it was a non-starter.

When I was 9, engaging in sexual relations was likened to committing a crime. It was the kind of thing you needed permission for, but you could never ask. After all, no one asked permission before they committed a crime, moreover it was not like you'd get permission to "do it". Almost two decades and the only thing that has not changed is how people still think of others who engage in sexual relations. People have evolved but we are still judgmental each step of the way. Sex is a fruit; an enticing, overly sensational one. We want it, crave it; hell, we want to eat it. Until you have tasted of that fruit, you will never understand the fascination and addiction. Nothing boosts you immune system like a rigorous, invigorating sensual encounter with the opposite sex. Your immune system regains a considerable boost to hold the forefront of the war on infections.

We are also told that it’s a bonding agent, With protection (rubber socks) or not, we are told that a part of who we are is lost each time we bed another person. No wonder friends with benefits never works. Pack up all these red flags about sex, and yet it is by far the most patronized product in the entire world. Empires were build and lost because of this fruit. It should also be noted that sex in all its glory is a good gift given to mankind by God- if you are a christian. Like everything on the face of this dying planet, it serves a unique and good purpose.

Sex is a beautiful thing. Losing yourself in another whilst burning with pleasure can only be considered as the crescendo of human encounters. Men cry, women cuss. When we are caught up in that raw, sensual embrace, some squeal, other make promises they will never keep. Emotional state of mind equals priceless. Rounds after rounds, we satiate our lust with bouts of thrusts, creative positions, twists and turns as the sensation heightens.

A virgin's encounter with good pleasurable sex could shove him/her into a place of addiction, and adventure. Ideally from a worldly perspective, sex is a first class priority requirement in today’s perfect competition dating market. I may be saving myself for marriage, but once the ring is on, it is a non-stop journey to fantasy land. Where all my curiosity is met with pleasure and more adventure. Anywhere. Everywhere. The upside to all this is that sex is meant to be a place of escape, a procreation channel, and pleasure that is right. That would have been true when Adam and Eve were the only people in the world. I am sure Adam had endless home-runs the first few days after he rang that climax bell. If I had to guess, Eve must have almost burned out the first couple of nights.

 As the world has evolved from a jungle to an urban one, we are basically told who we are, or who we ought to be. Sexual needs have, over the years, been prioritized as one of the centers of human existence. Science has taught us that sex is no longer a requirement for procreation, yet everyone does it. The boys are doing the boys, the girls are doing the girls, and there are the in-betweeners. Sex sells, and people buy. They buy it however they can get it. Whether it’s the desperate unemployed graduate willing to do anything for a job, or the sex worker who has built a mansion selling her "hooha" to a different person each night, it is a product that has not lost value. No matter where you are, you are either forced to think about sex through television programming, journalism, even through this article (I apologize). In less than two decades everything we were taught has been redefined by society. The good news in all of this is that people of virtue still exist in this broken world. If there is one thing evolution taught us, it’s that people change. 

In your own interest, be sure first before you break and enter. Throw caution to the wind and you might break into a can of infections, that will ruin the rest of your life. Now would be a good time to reevaluate who you are and the kind of life you want to live. When you use a good thing to satiate your lust, someone always ends up on the broken side of that encounter and usually, it’s as much emotional as it is physical. Some women end up depressed after sex- some men as well.

Sex is good but not all sex is. Think about the last time you had unprotected sex, and think about all the effects of such stupidity, and just pick one. That one is reason enough. Whether its HIV or other STIs or even the same old teenage pregnancy, that same society will stigmatize and rape your sanity. If you live for their approval. you die by their rejection. No one does rejection better than society.

Monday, June 8, 2015

That is enough

I have been on writing hiatus for sometime and for my come back, I wanted to write something sweet which started like this :   I drove through the cold night only to find you sitting on the sidewalk of my driveway sobbing because you thought I was leaving. To the questions I asked, your pithy responses strummed my pain. Pain from your inability to see how much love I secret in my feeble heart. Maybe you would be better of waiting for something that is already here. Parked in the middle of the driveway, dashing to cuddle you in my arms, and dry your tears. I could never undo your heart because it would mean undoing mine. And I am entirely unsure of what will remain. But halfway through this, I realized my mind can not create, imagine or accommodate thoughts of love right now. See, years ago, my entire life revolved around being and feeling loved. I was battling with depression, mood swings, and I always mistook attention for love. Back then I still had not understood that love was beyond that. I have learned some tough guy lessons in the past years. And  it has all led me to this. All the broken parts of my life have made me. As far as this post is concerned, I want to say is that before you put anyone on a pedestal, you must know that they are people just as you. They breathe the same air, drink water (maybe bottled) but they are still human. So when you freak out over some absolute nonsense, do not expect them to keep calm over some real deal that deserves freaking out. We have an idiotic tendency of judging people who we have put on pedestal when they just act human. Life is hard and real human beings get angry, they cry, weep, mourn, they break promises. They will promise you that they will come to your wedding and then disappoint you with excuses. You need to let it go when it happens. They are not Artificial Intelligence. Neither are they in your life to please you. Everyone has their bad day. Stop writing the wrong people do on rocks. They are people not a product on the counter you stop using because it set your house on fire. Moreover if your house caught fire, you won't even have the luxury of going to the store. You'd be homeless.

No matter what happens life will get to you, and you will be overwhelmed with commitments. When that happens to people in your life, bear with them and understand that they are not God. Even God doesn't come through always. Sometimes, He is trying to teach you something and you are too busy judging Him. If you can disappoint someone, every other person can disappoint you. Everything you are, someone else can be; maybe better, maybe worse, but understand that to the world, that is enough