About Time

Over the weekend, I was invited to a classmate’s wedding; and besides the fact that I was sick and bedridden throughout the weekend, I really did not want to attend. A couple of weeks prior, when I was informed about the wedding, I gave a resounding “no” as my response. But a young lady said to me, “If you don’t attend someone’s wedding, no one will attend yours.” It was true and I was okay with it. If no one came to my wedding, I’ll have my bride, my best man, our families and that will be enough. Everyone else would be appreciated but I would want them to be there for the mere reason that they want to, and not because I attended their wedding. I love marriage, and hope to tie my knot in the not so distant future with a certain special someone when I finally meet her, but I am not a big fan of wedding events. Personally, I think that weddings are overrated. The cure for love is marriage and the cure for marriage is love again. I think that weddings should be true, intimate and full of nothing but love. That feeling of beauty should come from desire and passion and not just expensive wedding gowns and the exquisite china used at the reception. If that is where your beauty comes from, that’s okay too. I actually think that you should have the best cake though. Because cake is cake and a great cake can make you forget all your troubles. In a movie I watched yesterday, the bride wore a red dress at her wedding and I thought that it was simply amazing. Truth is, if you wore a red dress to your own wedding in Ghana. First line of thought, “Oh, my son is marrying a witch…” I guarantee it. That is beside the point but the subject of reciprocity is always used when it comes to weddings. And it applies to basically everything we do.

First: attend a wedding because you want to, because you care, and you want to share in their happiness. Not for the main course meal, or the drinks or the cake. Acts of love, care, should come from a place of love and not from a place of reciprocity. We love, because we love; and not because we are loved in return. In what ways have we loved God for loving God since He loved us? Loving God should be easier because He does not change. And we have failed terrible in that department. I know I have.

People argue that there are different kinds of love. This is true but love is still required for the other kinds of love. The common denominator is LOVE.

Let’s face it: Life is hard and people do not always return the liberties they take.Show by hands if you did everything right and the guy/girl did not choose you? I bet a lot of hands are going up right about now. Did we still love them after they chose someone else? |Hell to the no! I am sorry. What? You still want us to be friends? Is your friendship supposed to be a consolation prize?| Show by hands if you have ever felt like that? Good! That is absolutely normal. You put yourself out there and you crash landed. It must have hurt terribly. I know, I have been there. Maybe I did not hurt like you for the mere reason that I have a titanium heart, but I felt the impact and that is similar. I do not want to be sagacious, but I want you to understand that loving someone is not about you; it is about the other person. You have to understand that you can do all the right things and still be the wrong person for someone. And you should learn to be okay with that. I speak on the subject because we do things with unflinching expectations of returns. This is not business, this is personal. You will argue that there is no fun in that, but you must understand that if you want to be a better person, it should be about you and not the other person. You develop a giving heart because you give a loving heart because you love. These are the times that try men’s souls. People take a 180 turn for others because they are in ‘love’ with someone, eventually when that ‘love’ dies down- and it will- you will have nothing but your old self, with a broken heart, time wasted, no self-improvement, and you are back to square one except you are two years, six months, half a decade, older. It’s better to grow and be ready.

If I were to tell you a story...

If I were to tell you a story about how I met you, I'd make sure we were sitting at a coffee shop with a street or ocean side view. There is something about the ocean that calms me, and a unique feeling I get from watching the cars and people. I would still ask for your opinion which may consequently lead to the two of us spending the rest of the day around town, looking for viable coffee shop options. I enjoy long walks as well, so that will definitely be the icing on the cake. If and when we actually find a suitable place, I hope it'll be somewhere in the park; where we can have some cotton candy. I like how it just vanishes in my mouth. Don't blame me. I like weird things. There will be no cakes or cookies on this date, but we'll both sit in the park, knowing that a dinner date with dessert was not that far away. Your smile at this point assures me that you are not considering walking away because I said dinner date. It'll just be two people having a home cooked meal with pecan pie, and maybe cheesecake as dessert. Think about it.

We'd be sitting somewhere gazing at people who are taking the nature of the park in. No one can argue with the beauty and the kind of serenity it breathes, even when it is filled with people. In that moment of reflection, words like, "I admired you when I first saw you" leave my  lips, followed by a slow pause and  a gaze in your direction. The moment as captured in my thoughts would be surreal but you'd be there "Your long legs and boyish appearances did you all the justice as far as I remember." We'd both smile and you'd ask me why I was always hostile towards you. My face would be beaming with guilt and a still long painful moment. I'll recall all my frowns as they mutated into what nots as time passed. "You were such a nice person but you also talked like people were made of iron and not flesh and blood." That was the straw that broke my admiration for. We'd sit in silence for a bit and Id' draw your attention to the cotton ball clouds

profusely distributed in the blue vault of the firmament. Their beauty would serenade us for a few second and I'd begin a story about how you were in my kitchen once whilst I was cooking trying to get me to talk to you. "I was mean."  Truth is, I remember each memory frame with you in it.

Now the day is here. The sun is shining straight through the openings in the clouds and you are inches away listening to the story of how I met you. You keep smiling infinitely pleased with an incomplete story. When the feathers of friendship tickled our hands, I reckoned that we were not so different. From behind enemy lines to the courts of friendship. Sadly, I never saw you again... until you were taking short walks with me through the park. Out on the wooden bridge, I'd stare back with a smile as I tuck one of the escaped tendrils of your hair behind your ear. Years have sailed and time has slipped us by but here we are, me creating with words and you reading miles away.

And then...

The Human Expericence

I am at point in my life where everything is fuzzy. I am constantly swinging between multiple moments of insensitivity and giref. Sometimes I wake up early just to take a long time to feel alive. There are days when I feel numb all day long and starve myself till the next day. But during my time at the hospital last week, the pain and hopelessness of the patients cut through me like an electric shock. It simply took the life out of me. My posture stiffened again and again. It broke me and knocked me out of the whole fuzzy phase.

What that visit did for me is beyond words. It hurt being there but I had to take it in like a man and understand that our bodies are designed to fail at some point and to place a value on life

Life of a person like a seed begins when that one sperm beats the rest to find the egg. Even that is no victory, because you must understand that a success like that never always produces the end result which is birth. Not all foetuses make it to the end of the line. Like a seed planted, not all are able to germinate. This makes me think that will is evident even before we identify it as will. The will of a sperm or a seed is channelled through many stages to sprout out of the ground. Will is evident even before we come to this earth to exercise it. Once here, we grow like trees and enjoy a certain privilege that some did not. We are here. Our minds capture the thought that we have it all until a storm teaches us different. They ply away all those layers and leave remains of all who we really are. Deep down we are just naked, vulnerable and afraid. We are, each of us, a tree of life created to leave eternity on earth before we partake in it in the afterlife. The hard truth that most people have a difficult time hearing is that no matter how much you fortify your body, it will fail. You can have muscles like Mr. Olympia, be super fit and all but one day, you’ll be reduced to a lifeless, motionless body. You can run, run, but you can’t hide from death. The evidence and existence of death should teach us the importance of life and living it. Learn to teach yourself to live and not to exist, to settle for mediocrity in the name of will. Strive for progress not perfection. Learn to live out the reason why you are here. Live out the human experience.

There are over thousand spieces of trees on this planet. Each serving humanity, there are those which produce fruit and others shade and others we cut to serve our dubious pleasures. Why can't we be like trees living out our purpose. Bring joy to your soul by living out your purpose. There is nothing so rewarding.

At the hospital, I realized that all these people like trees get pulled down by a storm, or illness some are fortunate to regain their strength and continue the good work. Others are not. Don't sit there and think that you'll always be fotunate to make it through. You can be fortunate enough for so long.

Here is something to think about:
If everything on this earth was created to serve another thing, what were you created to serve? Yourself?......

By Lazarus

I returned home in September last year from a long time away doing things that have not only changed my life, but also my thought process. As I sit in my porch looking out to the lush green surroundings, the din of cars and people grow distant and sometimes the only sound I can hear is the sound of the breeze slapping against my face. During times like this I am forced to ponder the hard, crusty environment I find myself in. The pastor on the television keeps reminding me that God is in control, but quickly after, he adds that he has anointing water on sale and each time I hear that, I am constantly reminded that even some of these "men of God" can not be trusted. I understand that God is in control but my feelings have not changed. Each evening, if my day allows it, I pour my thoughts into little words as I watch the vast expanse of the dark firmament. I can''t even yap at the mosquitoes who are having a field day with my bare chest. Even they are in hard times with all the mosquito nets in almost every home across the country. I am losing my grip on my sentiments  about the gross negligence and the insatiable greed in the eyes of some of these people. It breaks my heart but to some, my heart is not worth much. Change is not change until it is change. All this time, my own flaws yap at me from every corner of my mind. They remind me that I am human and I can only do as i have purposed in my heart to. Good times end when bad times begin. But you can not let go. My mind is tired from questioning God, and my frustrations are ever increasing.

In all that I have learned this: If you define who you are with perishable things, then your soul becomes perishable as well. Strip away all the things you have surrounded yourself with: your accomplishments, your phones, cars, girlfriend/boyfriend, house, job, etc.,what are you left with? Who are you after we take all that away. If you are not able to read a book when there is no internet, you have issues. Address them. I realized one thing when I sat in my porch thinking aloud. I was centered on the material things I didn't have. I had forgotten that I was intelligent and had many skills to my credit. I was an addict who was learning to say no to watching films all day on the weekends. I was learning to spend time with myself and think aloud. You have to lose yourself to improve yourself. Everyone acts like rock bottom is the worse thing that can happen. When you have been stripped bare, naked, and all your dirty laundry is out there, your pride is severed and who you are is out there for everyone to take a peek and criticize. That is when you grow. That is when you realize that it can and does get better. Which can be anything but bad. It is only when we shed all self definition that we actually find who we are. Who you are is vital to your purpose. I understood that when I identified myself with things, I lost sight of who I was and what God said I am. What you think of God does not take away anything from him? It takes from you your faith in Him and his power at work in your life. When you hit rock bottom, acquire wisdom and get back up, you are not defeated, you have won. By Lazarus, we know that a man can be poor and still be a friend of God. It is about time you stopped yapping at God.

Here is something to think about:

Growth is painful. Change is difficult. But it can only be change after you succeed. You can't mature without any of the two.

Quintessence

There are words I don’t understand. Words like mimetic, quintessential- I do understand that last one. It means a perfect example or important feature of something. Which brings me to this: what is the quintessence of life? Words that I do not understand are as many as the people I will never understand. But unlike words, you can’t look people up in a dictionary and find their meaning. Life would be easier if we could look  ourselves up in a dictionary and find all the meanings to us, and all the things that make us tick. Why can’t everyone be a plain glass? The world would be a better place; a new variety, complexity and beauty of human existence, and in all this life would be simple. We would go through it knowing that we could know it all if and when we wanted to. But it would be a terrible place for human existence. Your soul would do just fine in a world like this but not your body. There is fire and there is ice; just like night and day. We appreciate one in the absence of the other. Joy is nothing without sorrow. We all go through moments of great sadness and even if we experience endless bouts of joy- which is basically impossible in this lifetime- we’d still appreciate joy knowing that there is sorrow, and that it exists. Many of us have lived and died trying to figure out what exactly this life is. We spend half the time trying to put the pieces that we think fit together. And half of the time, we are right. The other half, we spend searching and trying to atone for mistakes committed along the way.

In an attempt to convey my message across this channel, my first thought was of our fallible humanity. We are told many times that when you fail, try, try again, or the far-fame quote: “Fall down seven times rise up eight. While there is no guarantee that you will always rise up when you fall, - you could be paralyzed from the waist down- it is a perfect example of the highs and lows we go through. We sing and testify of God’s goodness when the sun and moon smile at us and even the clouds give us a shoulder rub. When times are good, the things we are capable of are limitless because every good feeling in our body is heightened. But at the onset of hard times, we run for cover with hope that good times are not far away, we start to eschew from some kind of luxuries. We change and we swap praises for “God why?” which is reasonable. But you boldly came to God asking that He make your life a testimony, did you think it will taste like milk and honey?  We should remember that hard times do not mean that what we are capable of is limited. Our reach exceeds our limits. This is affirmative because necessity is the mother of invention. We should remember that we are the quintessence of life. There is no life without us.

Before I check out, here is something to nibble on. To be refined, you need to be fired in a furnace. That is how you become a testimony. People have to see your before and your now.

No more excuses

We are told to hold on to hope. Mostly because hope opens doors and teaches you first hand that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. What light? Everything in this world is not catch and release. No; far from it. Things don't just happen. There is always a cause for something; an underlying explanation that may, at first glance, be invisible to us. We never weigh the information upon impact. We react. When the news of someone's passing reaches your ears, you react with emotion first, or you chalk it to a higher power or something before you think about it in detail. Pain blocks out reasoning. I recall when my father passed. I fell through the cracks of nothingness. Honestly, it felt surreal up until the funeral. That was when it finally hit the walls of my mind. I did not know what hope was or where to find it. None of us did. It was a terrible experience and in one way or the other, we were all broken in many places. Pain reminds us that we are humans and we are capable of emotion. Loss reminds us that this world is truly not our home and we don't necessarily keep what we get. Time does not start when the sun rises, even sunrise is 8 minutes late. Time starts at midnight; and often sunrise feels like forever away until it is not. Pain may push us towards anger and make us bitter, so bitter that if we could we'd explode into bits and pieces. But does pain not serve a purpose just as joy, faith, peace,kindness and all the other good things you could think of?

Sometimes doing the right things does not mean that the right things will happen. It is part of growing up. How else will you learn that good things do not always happen to people who do right. The purpose of prayer is not to have our needs met. So when you belittle your prayer and God's love to the answers you receive, then you are just being mean and ungrateful. Look at the Christians who have died fighting to bring you the gospel, ones who happened to be in the wrong bus at the wrong time, and all the others who died from inexplicable circumstances. Take a minute here and reflect. Can you tell me that God loves you more than He loves them? Can you say that God loves them any less than He loved Jesus? And Jesus was crucified to show you how much God loves you. That should be where you draw your faith. That is what your hope should be built on.

I want to leave you with this:
No matter what you are going through or have gone through that makes you want just explode before God. I want you to remember that If God is who He says He is, then you do not need to be making excuses to cover up for Him. He can do that himself. You should understand that you are because He is.

Road to Perdition

 The journey of a man's life is filled with so many uncertainties; some of which test his principles and morals. Christians preach of the depravity of the human race and the sufficiency of God's grace. As true as that is, a lot is left in question as to where the line should be drawn when it comes to the mistakes of a human being. The truth is never complicated like most people sell it to be. Lies are complicated. Because two lies are told to cover up for the first lie and a dozen more are needed cover up for those two. It is long road to perdition. Lies eventually shove you into a place where you no longer remcognize who you are, or what you have become.

 We wake up every morning thinking that we are guaranteed tomorrow, we lie awake sometimes thinking about all the what ifs that never were. Life is not about living in the past or thinking about the many hurts that you've been through. It is about looking up to where your salvation will come from because it shall.

Stop taking people for granted, because when you lose them they are gone. Each person, no matter how insignificant they maybe to you, is irreplaceable. You'll never find someone who makes you feel like the way they used to. People will lie to you. I guarantee it. A little part of what life is about is looking past that lie and the hurt it may have caused. Unforgiveness is like a superior demon who forces you to judge yourself each time you do something wrong. It takes your eyes of the abundance of God's grace and keeps your head down. Learn to let go. It does not change who you are. It adds to your life. Life is simple, do not complicate it.
Do what you can and leave this world a king. Stop telling people about what you are doing and just live your life. In my experience not everyone wants to see you move ahead. there are too many illogical people in this logical world.

Before I check out, I will leave you with this: "Date someone who gives you the same feeling of when you see your food coming at a restaurant."Anything  less than that is a mistake.

Be well and live well