I can only get better.

I found myself working in the trenches of an old mistake. It's one that enshrouds me with  regret every time the thought storms my mind. But I can only get better. Worse, maybe the worst but I can only get better. I think human as we are, our imperfections fall in to oblivion when we are about to pronounce judgement for a  wrong done to us. The present eminence of anger and simmering hatred always clouds our judgement. I'm often not bothered by such things but  recently, I found myself at the eavesdropping end of a rather awkward conversation between two people who's names I'd not mention; but as far as awkward moments go, I think this one is a classic. What that eavesdropping moment taught me, was that as much as I'd love to degrade someone who wrongs me, at some point I will mess up too. I grew up thinking that forgiveness is a necessary requirement for every human being on the face of this planet, not because I was an expert at offending people -maybe a little bit- but because no one is perfect. Not that I hold myself in high esteem for being able to let things slide but I think that letting things go sometimes prevent utter chaos.

As far wrong doings go, everyone is guilty. If you are not, you will be soon. It's just the way life is. You have to understand that your forgiveness is what makes you worthy of forgiveness from God. We are all handed the same grace card, we are all drowning in the same ocean of grace- some faster than others- but we are still drowning. And nothing will change that. So if God has shown you mercy for all the dumb, mean stuff you've done, you don't get to exercise restraint when it comes to forgiving others. Take for instance the friend who become a little too melodramatic about your past when she failed to mention that she has a crazy past of her own. We are secretive people. That's never going to change. A hundred years ago, yes, maybe but not in this age. We are not proud of who we were. Who ever is? It's called the past for a reason. Forgive yourself and move on. People will always be people; quick to cover their wretchedness, just so they can point fingers and judge others. That's us. If we could do an exposé on you, do you honestly think everyone will still look at you the way they did. That exposé would spread faster than a prairie fire.

To be continued....