You have to Love. You have to feel

The early, bright blooms of love are always a tantalizing appetizer; it gives hope for treasured memories in the not so distant future. The beginning of love is always a sweet roller-coaster ride especially, if it's a first. First times are always to be treasured because, not only can you not run away from the raw, loose emotions you never knew were buried inside of you, but you also, beyond all reasonable doubt, can't forget it. There was once a time when the dating code was, "Boys ask and girls answer." Those were the times when girls would hush their excitement and feign indifference towards someone they completely adored because no one wanted to mess with the worldly order of things. Moreover, they were inundated with myths and social canons about how unappreciative most men are when a lady makes her move.

First of all, let me just say that love is not a game of chess and there is no checkmate. It could be a game of cards because judging by the way things have become in our world today, if you play your cards right you just might fall in 'love.' But for how long? I think we've been sold on the idea that love is this magical feeling comprised of hushed giggles, irregular heart rates and breathtaking moments. Yeah, so maybe love could be all that but irregular heart rate could mean heart disease and not a green light to profess your love. In a documentary I watched a few days ago, I learned that love is not only about emotions but it's also about chemistry. That is something I honestly do agree with and find laudable. Who wants to be with someone and have little or no chemistry with? Certainly not me. If I didn't know any better, I'd say, "that's like being forced into an arranged marriage. "Breakups are hard and even harder to notice when it's sitting at your doorstep. You might say it's not true but it happens. If you've heard the saying, "follow your heart but take your brain with you," then on behalf of that saying, "please take your brain with you." We take people for granted all the time: what they do for us, how they treat us, and even the time we spend with them. We take everything for granted. It is only when they are gone that we long for another moment with them. Fact: People always leave. In the natural order of things, people die. In the worldly order of things, they'll disappoint you. In the social order, they'll break your heart when you are not what they expect, and sometimes when you do too much right by them.

What is it that we want? What are we hopelessly looking for? How do we know when we've found it? The saying "like poles repel and unlike poles attract" only works in science. When you are dealing with the heart, come back to reality and know that like poles don't always repel and unlike poles don't always attract. We all want different kinds of people to fall in love with but there is one thing we all have in common when it comes to love. We want someone who will treat us right, or do right by us. Of course that wouldn't be so difficult if we stopped refusing the love we don't think we deserve. Some people tend to mess up good things but it's not because they are afraid of happiness. No, not at all. In my opinion, I think it's because they hate that feeling of loss when the happiness has left by disappointing them. Our fear of loss, feeling empty and all those lonely nights wishing we could stop the pain and erase the scars plunge us into not accepting love when it walks in to our lives. Whatever you think love is or supposed to be, may differ from the reality.

Being in love with someone goes beyond accepting them for who they are. It's more than just hangouts and long hours talking and walking and sweet moments that leave you with lingering thoughts of how fast you are falling in love. Yes true, It's all that but it also forgiveness. It also means to be wholeheartedly kind. It's a discovery of the other person in their flaws and in their moments of bliss. It also means to be patient with someone when they are having a hard time opening up to you about their life and other issues. It also means sharing who you are as a person and what it takes to be you with this other person. It doesn't always mean rose petals and tulips over candle-light dinner or red day gifts beyond wildest dreams. No, it's not always that. 

In our world today, we  fall in love very fast and before long, we are breaking up. We have little idea of the person we are saying I love you to and when the going gets tough, we pack up and sometimes, we don't even say goodbye.