Broken and better

It's exactly 2:48 in the morning and for the past 2 hours my eyes have been sending me signals that it's time but stubborn Ebbs won't listen. I'm talking to a special someone whose name I'll not mention but honestly, I'd appreciate a prayer for M. Please say a prayer for her. She's not feeling well. We've been talking and it's really nice to be there for her and I wish I could do more. I just want all my readers out there to know that I appreciate your likes and the page views, and would sure love some comments on the posts.

For the past 6 months, I've been quite obsessed with screenplay writing and as a result I started my own screenplay titled; Life Unfettered. And no, I'm not going to talk about it. I want to talk about the broken hearts on life support. It may not be such a good idea but I still want to highlight a little bit on the subject seeing as mine is in the process of mending. 

When I had my first breakup, Beyoncé's irreplaceable was the movement, and every time I hear it now, it brings back memories of how miserable and detached I was. I appeared as lost and broken as I really was inside; saturated with unbridled pain and damned tears. Each night, I laid awake; sleepless and helpless wanting to touch my own heart and patch up the wounds and bruises, and if possible stitch the broken parts. I was a sight for sore eyes and I felt my whole life slowing ending and my world in utter destruction. At the time, Kathy said, it'll get better. I know you are in pain, Ebbs, but it'll get better. She helped me through it and then I met M. who brought me back from the 'coma' I was lost in. Everything I knew and learned about relationships proved useless. Have you ever met someone who you thought you could never be good enough for, someone who no matter how much you tried you could never possibly understand why they'd choose to be with you?

Breakups are invisible if you have bad eyes and terrible vision. It will take you by surprise like a plane crash. Nobody sees it coming until it actually happens. Life would be so much better if we had a traffic light in a relationship: where the red would be for breakups, yellow for warnings and as for the green... I don't need to tell you what that will be for. 

I did get better. As the days unfolded the nights, my heart healed and the pain...well, it had no reason to stay. A little bird told me, "there is a night for every day on this earth and in every thing you do." Make sure you know where God is when the night comes. You are your own person, and you are always good enough. Do not let any girl or guy tell you different. Yes, we all have a blind side and we all need other people, so find that person that makes you wanna be better, doesn't judge you and treat them with utter respect and tenderness. I think human beings judge others too quickly, we point fingers at others yet hide behind a curtain and justify our wrong actions. It's a little unnerving, don't you think? When it comes to blindness, we are all guilty. You have issues, I have issues, everybody 's got issues but what makes us better is we work through them.

Perhaps it was your mistake that drove the other person away or they hurt you to breaking point. It is important to not focus on the wrong or play the blame game. It's about time you understand that, you cannot explain human nature because even in its so called "perfect" state, it's still flawed. The only thing that keeps it together, is the amazing grace of God which deodorizes our blindness and helps us be better people. Carrying around old hurts and left-over resentments keeps you from being open to prospective interactions and prevents you from full vulnerability in future relationship. You cannot be in love and not be vulnerable. 

"It takes courage to love somebody, you have to risk everything." Dr. Maya Angelou. C. S. Lewis puts it like this, "Why love if losing hurts so much? We love to know that we are not alone."

Broken things can be fixed and broken hearts can mend again